Tag, You're It
by redcat512
Summary: Jane, though – Jane has never pretended anything of the sort. (Rizzles)


Maura's never been the type to get caught up in labels, or in appearances. She dresses nice because she likes to, likes to put in an effort because it makes her feel like she's leading a life worth living, not because she wants to impress anyone else. Those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care, her governess always used to say, and Maura always took that saying to heart.

Strangely, it's Jane who cares desperately about what others think. She likes to pretend she doesn't, tries very hard to put on appearances, plays the big bad tomboy cop who doesn't take crap from anyone, but it's only an act.

Maura's the one who's never had a problem being attracted to girls, to boys, because it doesn't matter all that much what someone says, when she knows, she _knows_ as well as she knows the first twenty digits of pi that she's not wrong, not dirty, not evil for it. She knows exactly how many species of creatures display non-hetronormative behaviour, she's read the studies, she _knows_. It might be an aberration from the norm, but so are people who don't want kids, so are people who eat fries dipped in ice-cream, so are people who are allergic to peanuts. It doesn't make them _wrong_, to be different. Variety is the spice of life, Maura's governess also used to say.

Jane's a whole other story. Where Maura, despite the tendency to drown people in scientific facts to put distance between them and her, spent her early years followed around by a crowd of adoring boys (and sometimes girls), Jane spent her younger years angry at the world, an outcast, a loner, fighting for the rights of the down-trodden and earning even more animosity for it. Jane has spent her whole life fighting for the rights of people to exist as they are, but sometimes she forgets that she too has that right. Jane would say that she doesn't want to make her life tougher than it already is, but Jane pulls the weight of the world onto her shoulders so that she doesn't have to face her own troubles instead.

Maura's dated a lot of people. Most of them haven't progressed to full relationships, though. Mostly because people first think her nerdiness endearing, or at least smile and nod and pretend it is, but after a while, it starts to grate. _She_ starts to grate. She can see it, actually, can tell by the twitchiness, by the eyes flickering away, but she doesn't seem capable of stopping herself when she's on a roll. Actually, the more awkward a situation gets, the worse she is, and so the vicious cycle tends to destroy any sorts of relationships she's ever had.

Jane, though – Jane has never pretended anything of the sort. Jane had stared at her as if Maura had two heads, and then commented that nobody likes a know-it-all. Starting off like that, you'd think that with time Jane would have gotten even more annoyed, but no, she'd gotten used to it, had stopped taking it personally, had stopped assuming that Maura was trying to show her up, had maybe even realised that Maura doesn't mean anything by it, she just tries to share the wonder she has at the universe with those around her, tries to open up their eyes to the wonderful, amazing, bizarre word they live in. Somewhere along the line, Jane had come to rely on the zany commentary, come to use it as a crutch or a favourite safety blanket, something reliable and always there, and somewhere along the line, Maura had stopped using the science as a wall with Jane, and had started using it is a bridge, instead.

Sometimes Jane says that the reason she doesn't do relationships is that anyone who would love her wouldn't want her doing this job, and that's probably true of almost everyone, except of Maura. Maura, more than most, fully appreciates the danger that being a cop in homicide entails, but Maura also sees the fire in Jane's eyes when she's on the job, sees it and compares it to the burning joy, the fulfilment she feels when she's solving the puzzle that is a corpse, and could never contemplate trying to take that away from Jane. Maybe being a cop will land her in the ground one day, but the alternative would have her dead above ground instead.

Maura's happy to play this game that they have, though, for now.

One day, Jane will figure herself out, will realize that life's too short to try to please everyone else, that she needs to put herself and her happiness at number one, and then Maura will probably still be waiting, because another thing that her governess taught her is that patience is a virtue and that good things are worth waiting for.


End file.
